?? Hiding

To hear myself
I need you to shut up
TO listen to Him
I need to shut up

To say anything
I need silence
To move forward
I need to stop

The more I listen
the less I hear
Your voice is hiding

?? Death & Destruction

Death & Destruction
brings forth life and renewal
Sunshine and flowers
eventually leave

Though there is sunshine
there is still death
Through the destruction
the flowers bloom

?? Less is more??

The further away I stay
the less you can say
the harder it is for you to do

the less you say
the less confused I am
Push away, grow for me
Stay close and the fire burns
To be me and hear you
is like apples growing on an orange tree
When i hear you, I can't be me

*This was written at a choir concert at WIU - prolly 2004 or 2005 *

?? waiting for light ???

No idea where this is from...

Deep inside
the monster lurks
sucking in the outside world
pulling it deep in my bones
my flesh wishes to reject
push it out
fight against

hot
sweaty
heavy
waiting for light to break threw

?? Forgive others ??

Not sure when this was written or where it came from

How many lies can you feed me?
how much longer will I listen?
Forgive others as Christ forgives you
I feel like I must prove myself,
are you even work the effort?
my heart is an explosion
It's been stretched apart too many times
you say you don't trust
but you're full of shit
forgive others as Christ forgives you
I want to walk away
leave you with the mess you made
but i can't
i care too much
my frustration builds
can I help you carry your burdens
if you keep pushing me away?
Just like you, I'm only human, yet
forgive others as Christ forgives you

02/08 ?? Ramblings

So I was cleaning threw my closet and I found this piece of paper that I had written on while listening to a friend of mine play at school - I'm not really sure where some of it was going - but there might be something for me to work with in here....

Tear away
Peel the pain
Fight the hurt

Building brewing
Fighting to see tomorrow

Pushing
Parting
Dividing the darkness

Wandering
Lost
Never to be found

Dying
Hope
Praying to see light

Desire
......

Yell
Scream
Punch the pain away
Never again to feel
Never again
Never more
Love hurts more than hate

No more hiding
no more bottling
flowing out
pouring down
puddling
with no where to go
no way to keep it in
No desire to hold back

Tired of being your yo-yo
Tired of being tossed aside
Tired of not mattering to you

They told me to stay away but why?
How can something appear to be right
and be so wrong?
It only makes me want to be closer
and play with fire
Fire with burn
but I love pain
.........